Addressing the Heffalump in the Room & Micah Parsons is an Idiot
These last few days on Twitter/X have been interesting, to say the least.
NSFW - if you’re small, ask your mommy or daddy before proceeding.
Photo by Brook Ward.
What a god-damn shit show. The NFL and some of its premier players and analysts have really shown their asses lately.
For those who don’t know: Myles Garrett won Defensive Player of the Year at the 2024 NFL honors, despite being outperformed in nearly every statistical category by TJ Watt. I’m not even going to go into the stats, because they’re well documented at this point. It’s outrageous to say the least, but JJ Watt said it best last year on the Pat McAfee Show when he talked about people getting “bored with greatness.”
When you dominate the way that TJ Watt has over the last several years, he suddenly becomes easy to overlook when he’s not obliterating records, despite the fact that he’s still dominating. I get that. But, when did disrespecting this man become normalized?
For starters: the Defensive Player of the Year award is voted on by a panel of 50 sportswriters from the Associated Press. TJ Watt got 19 first place votes, 11 second place votes, and 12 third place votes. By my math, that is 42 top three votes. So, you’re telling me that eight of these assholes didn’t even give the guy that led EVERY OLB and DE in EVERYTHING (damn near) a vote in the top three? You wanna argue that Myles Garrett or Micah Parsons deserved the award - fine. You’re wrong, but fine. However, Trent Jordan Watt from the Pittsburgh Steelers should have a UNANIMOUS top three spot. The fact that eight of these voters couldn’t even give him that is absurd to me, and should be viewed as a stain on their credibility.
And then, you have this fuckin CLAHN by the name of Micah Parsons. He has got to be trolling right? There’s no way he watches these clips of himself talking back and says “yeah that was a valid take.”
When asked to name the top five pass rushers in the NFL, he rifled off four names rapid-fire style before stumbling on the fifth and trying to come up with a justifiable name, rather than just saying TJ Watt. That stumble is exactly why I want to think that he’s just trolling. He wants a reaction, and he knows that he’s going to get one by doing that - and boy, oh boy, Twitter/X was on fire about this one. One day, Micah says watch the film and stop looking at stats. The next day, he’s quote tweeting Jersey Jerry and making his arguments against TJ Watt using ‘almost’ stats. Buddy needs to just focus on his craft instead of hopping on these podcasts and interviews saying shit. I haven’t heard his name being talked about for his play since Thanksgiving. I’m just a fan who hasn’t played much football in my life, and yet, for some reason, I’m asking myself how one of the best linebackers in football (Parsons) doesn’t understand that the Steelers bring pressure on both sides at an elite level, which is why TJ Watt doesn’t get double teamed as much - or that getting chipped by RBs and FBs doesn’t count as a double team - or that sacks effect the game more than ‘win-rate’- or that coming up clutch late in games and not falling off a cliff late in the season matters - shall I continue?
I expect these lame ass takes from AP writers and Cleveland Browns fans, but Micah Parsons is in the trenches, and one of the best in the world at what he does. I expect better from him.
So, fuck Micah Parsons, fuck Browns fans, and fuck the NFL. Ya know what I love about the Parsons drama though? - The Steelers play the Cowboys in Pittsburgh in 2024. I will most certainly be there.
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